Wednesday 16 February 2011

The People's Cycling Front of South Gloucestershire is online!

The People's Cycling Front of South Gloucestershire, henceforth known as The Cycling Front, is now online.

We shall fight the council for bike paths and lanes that are usable, that do not have bollards and pillars in the middle of them.

Bike paths that do not have South Gloucestershire council vans in the middle of them.

Bike paths that do not abandon you at roundabout junctions when it gets too hard for whatever idiot designs bicycle routes in the council, they throw their hands in the air and say "somehow they will get across alive (probably)."

We are a group of people who work in secret, who do not waste our time being patronised by the council at their so-called cycle forum meetings.

We will act on the streets, to achieve our dream "bicycle paths that people from the netherlands won't laugh at"

What will we do? We shall embarrass the council into action, by showing the world what pretends to be a cycle city infrastructure, and taking into our own hands to fix what they are clearly incapable of caring about or fixing.

We shall overthrow the council, if that is what it takes!

To South Gloucestershire Council we say this: fear us

12 comments:

  1. If you are not already a part of it, you may be interested in The Cycling Embassy of Great Britain. Their goals are broadly the same but on a national level. Exciting times.

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  2. "who do not waste our time being patronised by the council at their so-called cycle forum meetings"

    Been there so many times I barely have the will left to live. Best of luck!

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  3. I see no purpose to the Cycling Embassy of Great Britain, other than to campaign for more restrictions on cyclists and where we can cycle, and to make us get off the roads. I strongly suspect that the motoring industry is behind the CEoGB's creation.

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  4. @minitar. No. It is possible to glue together our cities with cycle paths that work. If the councils cannot do paths that work, you can also be sure they won't do roads that are safe for a family to cycle on either.

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  5. @minitar. Yes, of course it's a conspiracy. The motoring industry, working in conjunction with the CEoGB, want to take away your "right to ride" on lovely roads like this and make you ride on Hitler's cyclepaths instead.

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  6. Down with the People's Cycling Front of South Gloucestershire!

    Quitters! Collaborators!

    You should be supporting the People's Popular Cycling Front of South Gloucestershire - we were here first!

    We have a plan. Break into the Council's palace on Badminton Road, Yate, and kidnap Pontius Jackson's wife and issue our demands, namely:

    1, All roads in S Glos to be converted to cycle paths forthwith.

    2, All cars to have their engines and two of their wheels removed.

    3, Everyone in S Glos to be forced to wear Lycra. All the time. And those funny pointy helmets.

    4, All cycle path bollards removed so that we can plough into pedestrians.

    5, Traffic lights - red will now mean go, green to mean stop - that way we'll no longer be breaking the law when we sail through traffic lights on red.

    6, Badges confirming that we're 'Holier Than Thou'.

    Join the People's Popular Cycling Front of South Gloucestershire now!

    I did, and so did my wife.

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  11. Welcome back Frank, we'd thought we'd lost you. Did you go for a 'stress relieving' bike ride like we suggested?

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