The People's Cycling Front of South Gloucestershire have issued a statement at 10:00, 10, November, 2010. Or, in S Gloucs council time, the little hand is near the big hand on November 10, 1974.
Here is the statement in full:
WE ARE AWARE THAT REPRESENTATIVES OF MANY OF THE LARGEST EMPLOYERS IN S GLOUCS ARE ATTEMPTING TO ENGAGE THE COUNCIL IN DISCUSSION OF THE SHELLMOR AVENUE PROPOSALS, HENCEFORTH KNOWN AS "THE SHELLMOR AVENUE FUCKUP"
THE ISSUE THESE REPRESENTATIVES HAVE IS THAT OF THE FOUR TRAFFIC CALMING MEASURES PROPOSED ONLY ONE HAS TAKEN CYCLING INTO ACCOUNT TO PROVIDE A SAFE AND CONVENIENT ACCESS POINT TO THE TRAFFIC CALMED ROAD. THE COUNCIL WOULD RATHER CYCLISTS RISKED THEIR LIVES ON THE A38 THAN USING QUIETER ROADS.
WE HAVE A MESSAGE TO THESE REPRESENTATIVES -WHO ARE CLEARLY SPLITTERS AND PROBABLY MEMBERS OF THE POPULAR CYCLING FRONT OF SOUTH GLOUCESTER:
"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EXPECT? THE FACT THAT THE PLANNERS INCLUDED ONE CYCLE FEATURE IN THEIR PLANS FOR THE JUNCTION IS EITHER A MIRACLE OR AN ACCIDENT. THE PLANNING TEAM MUST HAVE GOT OUT THEIR "1973 INTERCHANGES IN LEEDS AND GLASGOW" VISIO TEMPLATE OUT AND PUT TOGETHER FOUR PROPOSALS FOR A JUNCTION, WHILE STARING AT THEIR PROUD AERIAL PHOTOGRAPH OF THE M4/M5 JUNCTION."
"YOUR ATTEMPT TO ENGAGE THE COUNCIL IN DISCUSSION ON THIS TOPIC IS WASTE OF YOUR TIME. BY NOW CLLR BWIAN ALLINSON WILL HAVE ADDED ALL YOUR NAMES TO HIS JUNK MAIL FOLDER, AS WILL THE TRAFFIC DEPARTMENT."
"THE COUNCIL OFFICERS MAY HAVE SAID THAT YOUR NEEDS WILL BE TAKEN INTO ACCOUNT LATER -BUT THIS SHOWS EXACTLY THE PROBLEM. YOU WILL BE FORGOTTEN ABOUT UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE AND LEFT WITH SOMETHING WORTHLESS. EVEN THEN, THE RESIDENTS WHO HAVE CHOSEN ANY OF THE THREE OPTIONS THAT LACK CYCLE LANES WILL THEN BE UPSET THAT CYCLE ACCESS HAS BEEN ADDED."
"YOUR ATTEMPTS TO ENGAGE IN DISCUSSION WITH THE COUNCIL LEGITIMISES THEIR PLANS, AS NOW THEY CAN SAY THEY HAVE CONSULTED WITH THE LOCAL CYCLING GROUPS AND LOCAL EMPLOYERS"
"THE CYCLING CHAMPION IN THE COUNCIL, THE CYCLING OFFICERS IN THE COUNCIL, AND THE COUNCIL TRAFFIC PLANNING DEPARTMENT ARE NOT YOUR ALLIES -THEY ARE YOUR ENEMIES"
"RECOGNISE THIS, JOIN OUR ORGANISATION, AND TOGETHER THE COUNCIL WILL COME TO FEAR THE KEVLAR BACKED BLACK CYCLING GLOVES OF THE PEOPLE'S CYCLING FRONT OF SOUTH GLOUCESTERSHIRE"
And when asked why only one option had cycling facilities, the council officer responsible stated that it was "inconceivable" that the other options wouldn't have cycling facilities, they just hadn't bothered showing them.ReplyDelete
[pause for hysterical laughter]
Unfortunately, to anyone with any experience of SGlos highway planning, not only conceivable, but more likely than not. After all, they've never bothered carrying out their own policies for the past 15 years, so why start now?